where am i from again
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize