we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
