Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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