I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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