The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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