all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
