I must be too annoying 4 u.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
