I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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