You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
