nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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