obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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