We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
