Your dad touched me again.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
