It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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