I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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