I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
