you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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