This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
