Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
