I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
