So drunk its hurt
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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