thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
