I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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