Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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