party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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