Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
