I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
