I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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