everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
