If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
