Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
