You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
