I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize