i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
