so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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