I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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