I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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