I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Pants are for mortals
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
