am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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