No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize