Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
