I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
