the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
