Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
