What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We were destined to go to rehab together
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
