he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
