Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
