I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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