Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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