I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize