Kiss
Puke
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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