Will you blow on my dice?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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