So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
