Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
