I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
