Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
