Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
