so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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