You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
