I can text with my tongue
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize