I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
