I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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